A look into my life

Enjoying life

Yesterday we spend 6 and 1/2 hours on the river as a family. Me, Adam, all the kids and even the dog. It was an adventure but we had a great time. We fished, swam and floated through a couple of rapids.

Today I have sat a a desk and got the business finances in order I have been very behind on that. But things are looking good. Which is a sigh of relief!

I have lost 3.5lbs so far and the last 2 days I have had 0 sodas!!!! :-) Things are going good so far. Now I am off to get my work out on!!!

u have to do it for U!!

 I have started working out again. I have also started paying attention to what I eat. I have cut down to one soda a day  (which if you know me is amazing in 4 days time b/c I normally drink a 6 pack a day) water is my new friend along with stocking my fridge with fresh fruit and veggies. In 4 days I have lose 1.8lbs Today was my first official day doing Insanity & I will tell you in was INSANE!!!! But I never gave up and kept pushing through. It is hard work but I have to do this for ME!!! My brother has been helping to train me and pushing me but, I have leaved over the last few days that even with his help. I have to do this for ME and that is what I am going to do. Just b/c someone else wants me to succeed doesn’t mean I will unless I have the will power and determination and drive to do it!!!! So here is to a NEW me!!!

Busy Bee!!!

So where has the time gone??? I have been so busy with 3 kids, running a photography business, & trying to start my husbands body shop I have done nothing with blogging or even keeping up with myself. The kids are offically out of school for the summer. Jesse is now going into 5th grade & Brooke will be in 2nd. I cant believe they are growing so fast. I am not sure where the time has gone. I swear just yesterday they were babies. Now my oldest is almost a preteen!!!!! My world is fixing to get flipped upside down hahaha.

My photography is going ok.. I get a shot here and there but nothing big. It is just a little extra money on the side & that is fine with me. I would love to do it full time. But, I love spending time with my kids more. They will be gone one day and then I can jump in with 2 feet right now. I will just keep my feet wet. Unless God has a different plan for me.

Adam has officially quit his job to start a shop here at the house. Things are going great with that right now. It can be a little ( OK a LOT) stressful trying to run a full time business but the business is taking off very well. We are staying busy so that is good.

As for me since things were so hectic with life I feel behind on taking care of me. I had a million excuses as to why I couldn’t do it or didn’t have the time. I stepped on the scale for the first time since Christmas & I have put on weight.. almost 12lbs. So now, I am saying to only my blog…. No more excuses. I will get this weight off and start bettering me!!! I don’t care what it takes. I have my brother pushing me so that will help.

Yesterday, I thought I was not going to be able to go to the track and get a work out in because of church but after I sat a while I said.. NO EXCUSES!!! I dropped the kids off at the early class when to the track & ran.. Changed clothes and headed back to the church to teach. I was hot and sweaty but I didn’t care & no one else did either. NO EXCUSES!!!!

Staying busy!

That is what I am trying to do.. I find if I am busy I don’t get as depressed. So, I haven’t blogged in a while b/c while I have been busy. I have started exercising on a regular basis now & getting up earlier than before. Things seem to be looking up!! So what has been going on in the life of this stay-at-home mommy?

First off, I am trying to get my photography to take off so I made a page on facebook for it. I am doing pretty good I think. I have already booked 2 sessions & possibaly 2 weddings.. yes 2 WEDDINGS!! I am a little nervous about those. If I screw up a baby’s pics I can always say lets try again next week when they feel better etc but a wedding… that is a one time shot no do overs!!! So, I am a little stressed but, my husband keeps telling me to have a little faith in myself these people would not have ask me to do this is they didn’t like my work. So, I am trying to do that.

Girl scouts & boy scouts have had a really busy here lately.. cookie sales, pinewood derby etc But, I am proud of my kids they are doing good & they enjoy it.

We also signed Brooke up for softball today & Monday we have to sign up for the pageant so things are fixing to get really crazy busy but that is how I like it.. I feel like I am doing something then… it the winter we have no sports or such things & I feel use less which is why I get so depressed but, if I have softball practice or football to go to or a pageant to get ready for etc I feel needed & happy! So that is what has been going on.. I hope all is well with you all

Hopefully, I will be back soon!!!

baby steps day 1

So… Yesterday was a MUCH better day.. I feel like I actually accomplished something….. I got up I did 30 mins on my Wiifit…. I did 50 crunches & I walked around the school for an hour while Brooke was at girl scouts!!( I am not sure how much I walked but at this point it doesn’t matter I just got up & did something) Yay me!!! Now, today, I woke up with a MAJOR sinus headache & it is nasty rainy & cold outside & for some reason my heater is not working this morning but, I am not going to let it get me down….. I am took some meds for the headache & hopefully it will ease up soon so I can get busy doing something. I will not quit after day 1.. I felt so much better yesterday!!!

Oh & by the way my weight loss goal is 20 lbs.. but I am really more concerned about losing inches & toning…. If I can get back into a size 5 jeans & flatten my tummy I will be happy. I know to some of you this seems so easy but when I went from 98lbs before I had my first child to 145lbs now & at my highest I was 165lbs.. I dont feel huge just not happy with me & it is all about being happy with myself right??

New week

Ok here goes.. it is Monday & I am going to start this week out positive!! I actually got a halfway decent night sleep last night. I have had my coffee. I am getting a late start seeing as it is already noon buy hey, I am going to do this.. good mood, good choices, good day! Happy, healthy me.. I can do this.. it is all about my frame of mind. I CAN I CAN I CAN!!!!

Ok.. I think I have figured it out

This whole overly emotional/ disappointed in myself stage. I think I am trying to take on to much at one time.. I just jumped into this new year thinking….. I got this. I can do ALL this stuff no problem! Well that is not the case b/c you add all of those things on top of being a full time mommy & remodeling the house it is just a little over whelming. So, I decided to back up & slow down a little bit. I think to start things out I am going to work on 2 things …1 getting myself back in shape/ healthy & 2 getting my home back in order. When these to things have been accomplished then I can move on to the next project. Small goals Abbey… small goals :)

Disappointment at it’s highest

Today, I realized how disappointed I am in myself right now. I was doing so good with all my task at the beginning of these blogs & over the past week of being an emotional roller coaster. I have let everything go. I quit trying to do any of my accomplishments for the year. I know it is just January & I can start over. Heck I can start over anytime but this is how it always goes. I do good for a short period of time then I fall back into my old ways. It doesn’t help that I have no one backing me up, no one in my corner, or no shoulder to cry on. Don’t get me wrong my husband is there for me always but our brains don’t work the same way. Where I taught growing up that you need to give people love & compassion & that some one should pick you up when you fall, dust you off & say that is o.k get up & try again. He was taught tough love so when I need him to say it is o.k.. I get nothing.. I get well you could have done better. It is not that he doesn’t care & doesn’t love me that is just all he knows. I don’t have any friends that I can confide in. They all have their own lives & I don’t want to burden them with my problems. I just need to be reminded sometimes that is it o.k to fall as long as I get back up. & I am WAY to hard on myself to be that person. I am kind, compassionate, & caring to all the people around me but, I cant do that to myself. I always beat myself up worse than I should. I feel like I am not good enough.. I am not good enough to lose the 20 lbs I want to lose.. I am not good enough to be the photographer that other people think I am. etc I am going to get through this though somehow I hope… I know I am good enough but I just cant get myself to believe it

Emotional Roller coaster

That is what I have been the last few days. Not sure why. I think maybe it has something to do with the fact that I couldn’t really leave my house with 3 kids for over a week. I do not like being this way at all! The last time I was the emotional I was preggers. & believe me I am NOT! I had a surgery to fix that problem almost 3 years ago lol I don’t know why I am so emotional. The slightest little things just set me off & I go into a tailspin of emotions. Mad, sad, happy, feeling stupid etc. I wish there was a way to fix this problem. Adam doesnt understand why I feel this way. I try to explain to him that he gets to go to work every day. No, work is not fun but at least he is out of this house & has other adults to talk to. I do not. I sit here & run errands then I come back & start all over again. There is no other adult interaction other than the quick hello at the store etc & when he gets home from work but some of the time most of the time he works so late that I only see him long enough to say goodnight & he is gone before I get up in the morning. During ball season etc I get a chance to chat with other mothers etc so it isn’t as bad but winter we have nothing so I sit here & get depressed. I don’t like being like this last night I got out of the house for a couple hours by myself & just drove. That seemed to help a little bit and today things went back to normal. Kids went back to school & I went back to my day to day routine hopefully things are looking up b/c when I am so crazy emotional. I cant get anything done. I have not being following my list of things I want to get done. Then I feel like a failure & the cycle starts all over again. :/ I want off this roller coaster ride & right now would be nice!!

Cabin Fever ??

Well, You would think with the fact that I have been trapped in my house ALL week long with all 3 kids I would have been on here blogging all the time. But, I have actually enjoyed the time with them. Yes, they have driven this poor momma to the point of insanity. But, they are my little crazies & I love them!! Why have I been trapped in a house with them all week you ask?? Well, you see I live in Alabama where things like snow storms we are not prepared for. So, when the weatherman says the word SNOW the whole state it seems goes into a panic lol. No bread or milk to be found at any local stores. Oh my I better go to my parents/friends/neighbors house b/c I dont have gas heat & what if the power goes out they have a way to provide heat. Yadda Yadda Yadda this is what you hear everywhere. Well seeing as I was born in Nebraska.. snow is not a big deal to me So, I didnt worry. But when it started sleeting Sunday night I began to get a little worried. Then snow then more sleet. After about 2 days of this we ended up with what I like to call Snice. I wonderful mixture of snow & ice. Let me tell you this stuff SUCKS! Again because we are not prepared as a state. WE have nothing to clean our roads with ect. So, as the snow would slowly start to melt & we think yes we can get out, night time rolls around with temps in the teens & we wake up to solid sheets of ICE & roads closed so no travel. But, I have made the best of it & I have enjoyed having my kids home for a whole week. I don’t like the fact that they may lose their spring break because of this :( but what do you do?? Cant control mother nature.

Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know that even with the fact that I was sniced in I have been doing great with eating healthy. Fresh fruit & veggies & very few sweet snacks are to be found in my house. My 365 project has started out good & I have not missed a day yet!! I finished up two photography jobs while stuck in the house this week. So all in all things are going good. I do have somethings on my mind that I want to get off so I may have some more blogs soon about all the things that are bugging me :)

Well all my fellow tumblrs I better wrap it up for today & get busy. I can actually get out of my house so I better go run some errands. I will end with this statement.. While I was snowed in all I heard from my fellow friends was TONS of complaints about being stuck in the house, the kids are not in school, I cant get to work, etc & I try to be a positive persons so I said to them this.. when you think things are bad…. remember it could always be WORSE!!!